The Black Hole of Death

Well, okay...so it wasn't really a black hole. Nor did I die. But it sure seemed like it! (for those 5 seconds...but I swear they were loooong seconds)

Ever have one of those fears, fears that you have no idea how they came about...they just did? Yeah, me neither. Wait...I mean, yes...I do. I am completely afraid of drowning. No clue as to why I have this fear. I am an excellent swimmer. I don't believe I have been close to drowning (at least that I recall...or have been told about). My other fear...(crud, you found me out ) small, dark places. While I'm claustrophobic to a point, as long as I can see...I'm usually okay.

That brings me to today. I entered what I can only imagine to be a black hole of death...a completely enclosed waterslide! "Why?" you may ask a.) would you be afraid of this? b.) would I even do such a stupid thing??? Simple answer...my 6 year-old daughter.

For the past year I have reveled in the knowledge that my daughter was not yet 48" tall...thus she could not go on the newly built (last summer) waterslide at our local aquatic center. Off the hook...until today. Apparently, while I wasn't looking...and she was wearing shorts...she grew. She is now 48" tall...and I'm S.O.L. So today was our first hike up the tall stairs to try the waterslide. As we wound our way up...up...up...I noticed that tube was awfully narrow...and has a bend in it. The thoughts running through my head were..."SHIT! This is going to be dark...and I'm going to die!" and "Double SHIT if she goes first and is scared out of her mind...because it's going to be dark...I'm going to be comforting her for days...and I will hear about it for the rest. of. my. life...how I was Mother of the Year and "made" her go down the black hole of death and that she was scared and cried (I just know this would happen)."

So there we stand, at the top of the slide. The kid (boy) ahead of us goes...screams the entire way down. "Seriously, I'm going to die" was all I could think. And what does my little darling say to me? "Mom, you go first." Ugh. Fine. UGH! Fine. So I go. It's narrow (like I'll get stuck or something) and starts to get darker and darker...then pitch black! Water rushing...AAAAHHHHHHH this is the part I hate! THEN! A sliver of light! There's hope! I'm not going to die after all...I think. And then...the end. The ride probably lasts 30-45 seconds...but those 5ish seconds of pitch black is a killer!

When I gather myself and climb out of the little water run, my darling says..."Mom, I don't want to go on it." Of course...and neither do I...EVER AGAIN!

The things we do for our children.