The Black Hole of Death

Well, okay...so it wasn't really a black hole. Nor did I die. But it sure seemed like it! (for those 5 seconds...but I swear they were loooong seconds)

Ever have one of those fears, fears that you have no idea how they came about...they just did? Yeah, me neither. Wait...I mean, yes...I do. I am completely afraid of drowning. No clue as to why I have this fear. I am an excellent swimmer. I don't believe I have been close to drowning (at least that I recall...or have been told about). My other fear...(crud, you found me out ) small, dark places. While I'm claustrophobic to a point, as long as I can see...I'm usually okay.

That brings me to today. I entered what I can only imagine to be a black hole of death...a completely enclosed waterslide! "Why?" you may ask a.) would you be afraid of this? b.) would I even do such a stupid thing??? Simple answer...my 6 year-old daughter.

For the past year I have reveled in the knowledge that my daughter was not yet 48" tall...thus she could not go on the newly built (last summer) waterslide at our local aquatic center. Off the hook...until today. Apparently, while I wasn't looking...and she was wearing shorts...she grew. She is now 48" tall...and I'm S.O.L. So today was our first hike up the tall stairs to try the waterslide. As we wound our way up...up...up...I noticed that tube was awfully narrow...and has a bend in it. The thoughts running through my head were..."SHIT! This is going to be dark...and I'm going to die!" and "Double SHIT if she goes first and is scared out of her mind...because it's going to be dark...I'm going to be comforting her for days...and I will hear about it for the rest. of. my. life...how I was Mother of the Year and "made" her go down the black hole of death and that she was scared and cried (I just know this would happen)."

So there we stand, at the top of the slide. The kid (boy) ahead of us goes...screams the entire way down. "Seriously, I'm going to die" was all I could think. And what does my little darling say to me? "Mom, you go first." Ugh. Fine. UGH! Fine. So I go. It's narrow (like I'll get stuck or something) and starts to get darker and darker...then pitch black! Water rushing...AAAAHHHHHHH this is the part I hate! THEN! A sliver of light! There's hope! I'm not going to die after all...I think. And then...the end. The ride probably lasts 30-45 seconds...but those 5ish seconds of pitch black is a killer!

When I gather myself and climb out of the little water run, my darling says..."Mom, I don't want to go on it." Of course...and neither do I...EVER AGAIN!

The things we do for our children.

A Blanket

A piece of cloth or two (or more depending) sewn together, thrown on a bed...It seems so simple, doesn't it? But not when a grandma makes it...then it's so much more.

Tonight as I snuggled in with my sweet one, she started to kick all the covers off, and only wanted "the flowers" on, and her "cozy"...that's when it hit me, in that stillness...both of these blankets were made by my grandmothers. "Flowers" was made for me many moons ago by my "Regular" Grandma* and was my favorite...it kept me warm and cool all at the same time. "Cozy" was made especially for the Squirt when she was newly with us because Great Gram thought she needed a cozy blanket to snuggle.

So tonight as sleep came over my girl not only was she warm, but also blanketed in love...a love of one grandma I'm so happy she gets to experience and another she will only know through her mother's own quirkiness. A blanket may be just cloth to some...but some cloth is so much more.

P.S. As I sit here writing this all down, another thing has dawned on me...my girl has 3 grandmas too...2 "Regulars" and a Great...lucky girl.

*I was lucky enough to have had 3 grandmothers growing up, so to differentiate them they had different names, which I gave them...and "Regular" was anything but...which is another post in itself.

My Grown-up Christmas Wish

Do you remember when you were a kid and the things you had on your Christmas wish list? I recall a couple - a pair of single-blade ice skates (that G-Mama will tell you were super hard to find as I was only 3 years-old and had small feet!) and dominoes.

But this year, this year is different. Sure it's always nice to get items all dolled up in ribbon and bows, but the reality is...it's (generally) not necessary. So what are you asking for, you say? A prayer or thought.

We received a message from a family in our preschool today. A classmate of our dear CiBaby, a sweet and smiley little guy, has been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. He's 4. Four. All of the test results are not back yet to see what the risk level is, but regardless...this is a big deal. So my wish is for you, your friends, their friends and their friends to hold a thought and say a prayer for Will and his family, so maybe it'll be heard and answered...kind of like a petition. A prayer petition.

So if you've gotten me anything, you can return it*...I only want this one thing. I might even write a letter to Santa...it can't hurt.


*Let the economy suffer a little, it's a worthy cause.

A local connection

As you know, I'm all about local. But this is different.

Dear friends of ours, Wibby's family, are currently in China to be united with their baby daughter. As I talked with J before they left, I kept feeling all the same feelings that I had when we went to get CiBaby. The neatest part...they are going to the same Province that CiBaby was born, as that is where there little one is from as well (CiBaby from Jingzhou, babyM from Wuxue...opposite sides of Wuhan along the Yangtze River). As I type this post, since they are 12 hours ahead of us, they are either on their way or getting ready to depart for Wuhan, in the Hubei Province. The kicker of the whole thing is that they will have our absolutely fantastic guide, Grant, with them every step of the way. He lead us through the process flawlessly, showed us the sights and talked to us about the Chinese culture. It was a fantastic experience and I only hope the R Family will have the same.

And again to think...a garage sale was the catalyst for a wonderful relationship, and now...a local connection.

Wickedly good!

Today, T-Daddy and I had a much-needed date, which took us to see Wicked. I can sum up the production in one word...FANTASTIC! The music and singing was awesome, the costumes were great and the story itself is one that really resonates with me...which is basically, don't judge a book by it's cover (sorry, bad pun, but appropriate) or mass review.

Have you ever met someone that other people have warned you about, for reasons you have no idea, but withhold judgement until you meet them? Then once you meet said person you can't put your finger on it, but know that there's something deeper than just what a lot of people see? The facade, will you. Of course, sometimes it isn't really a facade, just a really good paint job...and they truly are certifiable...you know those.

Anyway, if you have the opportunity to see the production, do, but I also highly recommend reading the book (Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (Wicked Years)), it's a great read.

Good fortune

Tonight, after a quick dinner, CiBaby snatched up one of those unclaimed fortune cookies from a previous take-out night and excitedly awaited to hear what it said. Her fortune read:

"Today is an ideal time to water your personal garden."

Her take on the message? "Mama, that means we are suppose to teach people how to garden."

That's my girl!

Lying gets you nowhere

Even in retail.

As most of you know, I am a GAP Girl. It's just a part-time gig, but I really like it.* My favorite roll is in the fitting rooms, where you will find me most of the time. Making sure that what people are trying 1. fits correctly and 2. looks good on them. If you ask me my opinion (or sometimes you don't even have to ask me to get it) I will always be truthful.

Last night was no exception. A postpartum mom was in looking for a dress. The one she chose had a v-neck, vertical stripe and empire waist. She asked me my opinion and I told her. She looked great! Of course she was unsure as she was self conscious, she even said so. Then another customer came out and complimented her. She was convinced. I jokingly told her I wouldn't lie to a new mom...way too many hormones! And then there were the ladies and jeans. Who doesn't hate looking for new jeans? Men, maybe. I was so excited when I was able to find a pair for a woman who apparently can never find jeans to fit right, and two others that needed help sizing so they looked great. People, it's my job to make you look good!

I suppose I could lie and say something looks good when it doesn't really, but where does that get me in the end? Maybe more sales right then, possibly, but when someone realizes that something doesn't fit correctly and they hate it (or don't love it but were talked into it) they won't be repeat customers and if they do actually return why would they believe us? I know I wouldn't. And frankly, I don't want angry customers randomly coming up to me in the mall cursing me for making them look like crap.

So...if you want some real help and an honest opinion, come and find me. Who knows...I may even tell you to try another store!

*Except for picking up after the slobs who leave things all over the dressing rooms. Seriously people?!? That's just plain rude.

Shop Girl

Once again I took my annual pilgrimage out west to be a Shop Girl.* True to form we worked our tails off, but as you can see...totally worth it. The store looked beautiful, the company divine, the laughter intoxicating and the sleep much needed. I cannot tell you how much these trips mean to me. I feel rejuvenated...ready to be me again.

*Which comes in handy as I'm now currently working as shop girl!

Eating locally on a budget...the dollars and sense

With all this talk about eating locally, I thought I should touch on the dollars and sense of it all.

The other day, while at the gym working out on the elliptical machine, I caught the last half of an Oprah re-run. It was about kids and obesity.* One thing a mom of one of the kids said really got me thinking. She said they were on food stamps and that it was not always easy to pick the healthier option when on a tight budget. Really? While I can see how that is for some things, I am having a hard time believe that as a blanket statement.**

So I've started to do a little research on the subject of eating healthfully on a budget AND eating locally. I hit the grocery stores, co-ops and the farmers' markets. I won't bore you with all of the prices, but I will sum it up with you will, on average, spend less on locally produced food when comparing like foods (organic to organic and conventional to conventional).

First, if you have anywhere to plant anything edible...do it! Be it a few large pots on your patio, whatever, it's a start. It's as local as you can get...and quite inexpensive. The same day I saw the Oprah show I went to my monthly Master Gardener meeting and it was on Superabundant Small Gardens. In 2005 the presenter decided to really see how much her organic garden produced, not only in pounds but how much it would have cost her to buy it all at the time it was harvested.***

Her garden's expenses included: manure, other fertilizers, seeds and plants, potting soil, electricity and water, pots and supports and her community garden plot rental fee. It totalled up to be around $253.50. Her crop was valued at $1,408.65, minuses expenses...for a total value of $1,155.15. WOW! Now she follows a few simple rules that I personally abide by for my own garden...When you have a small space to garden, produce what you love and costs the most to buy. Of those things look at what takes up the least amount of space, grow up verses out. Love beans but you don't have a lot of room for a large crop? Plant pole beans! Have a fence and love cucumbers? Plant the vining variety and have them climb up your fence. Find compact varieties. Interplant your edible plants into your flower gardens. Eggplant are not only beautiful, but their purple flowers are gorgeous too. Peppers, especially the hot variety add a splash of color (habanero for fall, what could be better???)

Second, if you have access to a Farmers' Market...GO! Not everyone has the room or the time for a garden (or in my case I cannot grow as much as I use) but everyone can visit a farmers' market. Not only do you get the freshest fruits and vegetables picked at their peak, you also get contact with the people who grow your food and support your local community at rockin' prices! I did overhear one woman say, "If I wanted to pay this much for X, I could just go to the grocery store." I think she's missing the big picture, don't you?

Some of my purchases at the Farmers' Market included:
Red bell peppers - 16 lbs for $12 ($.75/lb)
Green bell peppers - 8 lbs for $4 ($.50/lb)
Eggplant - 21 lbs for $5 ($.24/lb)
Tomatoes - 60 lbs for $18 ($.30/lb)
Fresh onions - 5.5 lbs for $4 ($.73/lb)
Beets (red & golden) - 8 lbs for $4 ($.50/lb)

What did CiBaby and I make with all of this (and from our garden) food, you ask?

We made salsa...lots of salsa!...(both red and green...which we eat a lot and is an easy/good thing to bring to parties), pickled beets, ketchup, spaghetti sauce, raspberry jam, pear butter, tomato sauce, eggplant parmesan, moussaka and ratatouille. I also put away roasted eggplant, roasted red and yellow peppers, green peppers, zucchini, corn, sweet potato leaves, green beans and tomatoes for future cooking use...which saves me a ton of money and everything is still peak flavor.

You don't have to be a foodie, like me, to see why this works. It just makes [dollars and] sense.


*Ironic???
**Long ago I was a check-out girl at a grocery store and saw the "food" come through on food stamps...let's just say that a good majority of it was not what I would consider good choices.
***I forgot to ask her if it was just at the co-op/grocery store and didn't factor in the farmers' markets' prices.

The Art of Cooking

As many of you who know me well*...I love to cook. Not only do I love to cook, I love food, I love ingredients, I love cookbooks, I love techniques and I love to experiment. LOVE IT! Nothing gives me more joy, with the exception of my family, to try out new concoctions on friends and family and get their feedback. I consider it art.

As I stand here and sort out green tomatoes I think...what will I do with all of these? Sure sure, I can make "fried green tomatoes," or "green tomato relish"...while good...I can only eat so much of it. So now what? I search cooking websites and cookbooks for inspiration.**

While what ended up being wasn't fancy, we have many jars of green salsa from my own "recipe." My first attempt at it with unripened tomatoes. Smoked in our fireplace, no less. Darn tasty in my opinion...and friends' too!


*Recently a friend who knows these facts came to me with a potential proposition...which has gotten my wheels-a-turning on a potential business opportunity! Stay tuned!!!
**Also, those who know me know that I have shelves and shelves of cookbooks but actually rarely make an actual recipe from them. Why you ask? I use them as a basis for my own recipes. Flavor combinations. And then I wing it...with the exception of baking. I suck at wing-baking.

First Day of School! A new begining...

Today was the official start of CiBaby's formal education...PRESCHOOL! Now, as some of you may recall, last year she was a pre-preschool dropout...but this year...this year will be different, I hope.

Last week we visited our new school during an Open House and CiBaby was adamant about telling me that "today is not a school day." Of course this continued today too. When I told her that indeed today was a school day and that it was going to be SUPER FUN! (in my best cheerleaderesque persona) she declared she didn't want to go. She was "too nervous to be away from Mama." Awwwe how sweet, but kid, you're goin'...and it's going to be GREAT!

So today we made it a super fun day. First we met up with friends for a playdate, and thankfully her best bud Wibby had just come from school and said it was "super fun." Then it was a rush home for a quick bite to eat and change of clothes and off we went to school. Before leaving I did remind CiBaby that she might have to tell her teachers that she has to go potty (yes, we're still working on that). Well, upon arriving with our special bottle, that she picked out herself, of soy milk and special snacks (incase the snack o' the day is something she cannot eat) she told me she had to go potty. We rushed to the bathroom, sat her down to hear her say, "it not coming." That's when we talked about how sometimes when we feel nervous we feel like we have to go...come'on, y'all know what I'm talking about.

Once back in the room a spot opened up at the playdough table...SCORE! And best of all, it was right next to one (she has 4) of the teachers. She sat down, the teacher engaged her right away and when I said goodbye, the teacher said, "Don't worry, I will be here with you until your Mama comes back to get you." Dang! I knew I picked a great school for her!!!

Fast forward a couple hours, an ice tea and adult conversation and it was time to pick CiBaby up from school. I scooted home, got T-Daddy and off we went...we didn't want to be late. It went great and we couldn't be more relieved. She was "all-smiles, all day." YIPPY!!!

And off we go.

Summertime Fun

What a great mother/daughter day.

Was it worth the time?

Do you ever ask yourself that question? "Is doing X going to make any difference in the world?"

Since adopting CiBaby I have been on two different adoption panels, each time with CiBaby (that's who the audience really wants to see), July 2008 was without T-Daddy and the most recent, October 2008, was with him . The second one I feel was successful in that not only did we meet some really neat people who are now consider friends, but that people seemed to be really engaged and were asking questions.

But the first. The first one is the one I struggled with. I was a little nervous. Not so much as to what I was going to say, but the fact that I was there alone with CiBaby. I worried about what would happen if she was uncomfortable sitting in front of a bunch of strangers staring at her. If she fussed, what would I do? Take her out myself, since there was no way on God's green earth that she would go into a playroom without me?! But she did great...or at least there was snacks to keep her occupied.

And what was I going to dress her in? We always saw people dressing their children up in really cute outfits, a perfectly groomed little Asian girl in a pretty dress with hair all done....but reality is not so. Reality is not always picture perfect. And although we had the outfits...outfits galore...I opted to put her in some fairly everyday clothes, clothing I knew she would be comfortable in as it was familiar.

While everything went fine, no one in the audience asked any questions. We were kind of the odd-family-out as we were the only ones that had adopted a Waiting International Child, so we didn't necessarily hit some radars...still no questions of anyone. All of this took a chunk of time, mentally and physically, and that left me wondering...was this worth the time? Was everyone so drained from the class, and it was such a beautiful Friday afternoon in July, people wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible?

Not until today, over a year later, was my question answered. We went to a function for adoptive families through T-Daddy's work and not long after arriving, a woman, whom I've never met, stopped to talk to me. Apparently she was in that first class where I spoke. She told me "thank you" that apparently some things I said made a difference and helped them get to the point they are at in their adoption.

So while a lot of things that come out of our mouths are inconsequential to the masses, we occasionally, and unknowingly, say things to people that hit home and make a difference in their lives. And I guess not all of our cosmic questions can be answered all of the time, but sometimes they are.

Chillin'

Today was not the best day in The Land of Potty Training. We went through 4 pair of underwear and pants, and 2 pull-ups.

So tonight after dinner, the second pull-up came off (wet) and we told her she needed to have at least underwear on to run around in the backyard. She begrudgingly put on a new, dry pair of underwear...next is our exchange...

Me: "Honey, you need to stop peeing in your underwear, otherwise we will have to go back to baby diapers (which she doesn't want)." Said very calmly, I'd like to add.

CiBaby: "You okay."

Me: "Yes dear, I'm okay."

CiBaby: "Mama. You need to chill out."


Well alrighty then.

"Why you be so sassy?"

CiBaby has been very into jigsaw puzzles lately, so a couple of weeks ago while T-Daddy was away on business in Dubai we found a pack of 3 Beatrix Potter puzzles for sale at the GW for $0.99. CiBaby LOVES them. The first night we stayed up way too late building puzzles over and over. At one point that night, sitting at the coffee table, CiBaby with a cup of juice and I with mine,* CiBaby said to me, "Put down your wine and build a puzzle!" Uuhhh okay.

This morning, with juice and coffee, we sat around the same coffee table building the same puzzle, Mr. Jeremy Fisher. We've been working very hard at matching up shapes, patterns and colors. Well this morning at one point she attached his head to his knee...got the color pattern right, but...and I said, "Honey, you are close. It's part of his body but his head and knee don't go together." At which point she says to me, "Why you be so sassy?"

Let's just say it was hard to keep my composure, and I think I even let out a giggle.

*the adult kind.

A morning at the market

This morning I had my first go round of the year at a Q&A table answering gardening questions.*

I love this time of the year. The hustle and bustle of the market. The flowers, the veggies, the sights, sounds and smells. And the people. I love the people. There are your Average Joes and Janes, burb dwellers, urban folks, your very "outside the box" people, kids and babies. But my favorite people are the farmers. I love leisurely strolling the aisles and looking to see whose new and whose back for another season. Thinking back to what I bought from each stand last year, what creation I came up with and what I'm going to do this year.

There's just something about it. Call me nostalgic, call me old fashioned, call me a farm-girl at heart (but born and raised in the city), but to me there's nothing better than soaking in and utilizing all of the sustainability that our city has to offer. It's just really cool.

*It was fabulous, by the way. Of course I didn't know every answer to every question, but knowing where to look or where to send the question-asker for the answer is almost as good.

Fate or Destiny?

A random neighborhood garage sale brought
two little girls and two women a friendship.
Fate or Destiny...
Whichever it is, I'm glad it happened.

WDW 2009

One week

Four parks

A lifetime of memories

The friends we made...

The princesses we met...

The animals we saw...

Sometimes from a bird's eye view...

The rides we rode...

The patience that was had...

While our days were packed with fun, there was always time for...

Yummy "special" treats...

Pool time...





Playtime...




Rest...

And to smell the flowers.

Disney...it brings out the kid in everyone.