Was it worth the time?

Do you ever ask yourself that question? "Is doing X going to make any difference in the world?"

Since adopting CiBaby I have been on two different adoption panels, each time with CiBaby (that's who the audience really wants to see), July 2008 was without T-Daddy and the most recent, October 2008, was with him . The second one I feel was successful in that not only did we meet some really neat people who are now consider friends, but that people seemed to be really engaged and were asking questions.

But the first. The first one is the one I struggled with. I was a little nervous. Not so much as to what I was going to say, but the fact that I was there alone with CiBaby. I worried about what would happen if she was uncomfortable sitting in front of a bunch of strangers staring at her. If she fussed, what would I do? Take her out myself, since there was no way on God's green earth that she would go into a playroom without me?! But she did great...or at least there was snacks to keep her occupied.

And what was I going to dress her in? We always saw people dressing their children up in really cute outfits, a perfectly groomed little Asian girl in a pretty dress with hair all done....but reality is not so. Reality is not always picture perfect. And although we had the outfits...outfits galore...I opted to put her in some fairly everyday clothes, clothing I knew she would be comfortable in as it was familiar.

While everything went fine, no one in the audience asked any questions. We were kind of the odd-family-out as we were the only ones that had adopted a Waiting International Child, so we didn't necessarily hit some radars...still no questions of anyone. All of this took a chunk of time, mentally and physically, and that left me wondering...was this worth the time? Was everyone so drained from the class, and it was such a beautiful Friday afternoon in July, people wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible?

Not until today, over a year later, was my question answered. We went to a function for adoptive families through T-Daddy's work and not long after arriving, a woman, whom I've never met, stopped to talk to me. Apparently she was in that first class where I spoke. She told me "thank you" that apparently some things I said made a difference and helped them get to the point they are at in their adoption.

So while a lot of things that come out of our mouths are inconsequential to the masses, we occasionally, and unknowingly, say things to people that hit home and make a difference in their lives. And I guess not all of our cosmic questions can be answered all of the time, but sometimes they are.